I cannot sleep on most nights purely because my mind will not stop thinking. The wheels keep churning and thoughts jump from one to the next.
<u>For example last night I thought about:</u>
Instances of depression in my life, which lead to
Anti Depressants I have taken, which lead to
The weight I gained every time I took anti depressants, which lead to
My conversation with my best friend in which I said “I will not take anti depressants again until I lose the weight I gained, which lead to
Why was I having this conversation with my friend, which lead to
I remember my friend dragging me out of bed and forcing me to get a milk shake because I was depressed, which lead to
How did he know I was depressed? What was he doing at my house? Which lead to
Oh shit.
No wonder when he got a girlfriend we could not be friends anymore. Which lead to
That time he asked, can I just sleep on your bed instead of the couch? And in the morning I asked the guy I was dating to go out to breakfast, and he got mad stating he wanted to hang out with me.
Oh shit.
How did I not see it the whole time.
And then that last thought just goes on repeat….
