I want to wallow in my bitterness and fear. Its safer there.
I can sit at home alone, afraid of falling in love. Never taking a risk. Never giving myself fully to anyone.
It hurt to much last time. It hurt so much.
And in my imagination, my future love will save me from my isolation. He will [...]
Archive for the ‘dating’ Category
A Romance Movie
Posted in dating, depression, insanity, life on July 10, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Insomnia
Posted in dating, insanity, life on June 4, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I cannot sleep on most nights purely because my mind will not stop thinking. The wheels keep churning and thoughts jump from one to the next.
<u>For example last night I thought about:</u>
Instances of depression in my life, which lead to
Anti Depressants I have taken, which lead to
The weight I gained every time I took [...]
Loss of Control
Posted in dating, insanity, life, tagged dating, emotions, insanity on May 21, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
My friend has an arguement that I get upset when I lose control of the situation. I get upset when I do not have control over a relationship, over a job, over life.
He claims that all of my actions are based on being in control.
Which in a way, is inherently true. When I feel like [...]
I dumped a boy.
I dumped him a few months ago.
He was nice. He was really into me. He spent money on me, although I insisted that I will pay equally.
But he was boring. He was not smart.
And on top of THAT
He is a virgin.
Yes, a 25 year old virgin. He wanted a long term relationship.
I [...]
Random Thoughts from No Particular Place: Part 1 of 287
Posted in dating, ex boyfriends, tagged dating, ex boyfriends, loneliness on April 27, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Walking up the street at 11 PM, I smile. A stranger can see my obvious affect: to look up and to the left as I am digging into my brain.
There was a park only 2 blocks from my street. I always just wanted to go to that park and swing on the swings one night.
“We [...]
Stupid Ex Boyfriends
Posted in dating, insanity, life, tagged dating, ex boyfriends, hatred, love on April 16, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I am not a fan of keeping in contact with ex boyfriends. The main reason we break up is because of serious reasons. It was not a “this is not working out” type of break up. It is a fucking catastrophe. Tears and pain and hatred and anger.
I do not [...]
Fuck Dating
Posted in dating, insanity, life, tagged dating on April 16, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I find myself at dinner in a crowded restaurant. My eyes are tired. My body hurts. I am trying to squeeze in a time to see you between my demanding job and my tendency to destroy my body in various accidents/injuries/sickness/vices.
And as you talk, my comprehension fades in and out. I [...]
I Need Space
Posted in dating, tagged dating, loneliness, sex on April 1, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
As a younger person, I never understood the desire to need space. I never understood the reasoning behind waiting a few days to call or spacing dates apart.
If I truly liked someone, I wanted to spend all my free time with them. And thats how my relationships started. I met someone, talked to them, and [...]
