Part of me is happy when I am sick.
I am not happy to be sick, I am happy when there is something actually wrong.
I am under constant fear that I make myself sick-psychosomatic illness.
I had anxiety attacks as a kid, in which I couldn’t breathe.
I got chest pains-so my doctor sent me to therapy.
I get [...]
Archive for the ‘insanity’ Category
It never ends
Posted in insanity on August 2, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Fucking Doctors
Posted in insanity, life on July 23, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
My hip started hurting about a month and a half ago.
During physical therapy, I had to do some random stretch.
“I kinda feel a pinch”
“Stop then”
Then the pinch did not go away. It just kept hurting.
I went to the Doctor, she said I strained my groin. Take some ibruprofen, it should be fine in [...]
A Romance Movie
Posted in dating, depression, insanity, life on July 10, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I want to wallow in my bitterness and fear. Its safer there.
I can sit at home alone, afraid of falling in love. Never taking a risk. Never giving myself fully to anyone.
It hurt to much last time. It hurt so much.
And in my imagination, my future love will save me from my isolation. He will [...]
The Loneliest Moment in the World
Posted in insanity, life, tagged depression on July 8, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
The loneliest moment in the world is when you wake up at 4 am while in the depth of depression.
When you are depressed, sleep is an escape. A great 8 hours free from sadness. Free from thoughts of suicide. It is one of the few sweet reliefs from agony. But nothing is worse than waking [...]
The Beginning
Posted in ex boyfriends, insanity on June 13, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I had imagined the day over and over again in my head.
I would see you, on the street, at a show, at an old restaurant. You would say “I am sorry. I still love you. Will you forgive me?”
And I would belittle you. I would tell you that I can never [...]
Insomnia
Posted in dating, insanity, life on June 4, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I cannot sleep on most nights purely because my mind will not stop thinking. The wheels keep churning and thoughts jump from one to the next.
<u>For example last night I thought about:</u>
Instances of depression in my life, which lead to
Anti Depressants I have taken, which lead to
The weight I gained every time I took [...]
Man Caves
Posted in insanity, life on June 2, 2008 | 1 Comment »
This is the most absurd thing I have ever read:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/05/02/mantuary.marriage/index.html
I am a woman, and I think its absurd that a man has to hide his things away in the basement.
What happened to equality? Equality means the woman has to also give up decorating.
Stupidity.
The whole world is stupid.
Life is a Silly Game
Posted in insanity, life on May 26, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Life is a silly game, a catch 22, the grass is greener somewhere else, you never get what you want, and things always go wrong.
Things always go wrong.
And I can only laugh. I can only laugh when I get 6 phone calls from the boy I am NOT interested in and the boy I am [...]
You, Me, and Everyone We Know.
Posted in insanity, life, tagged life, thoughts on May 22, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Sometimes I look around at the world and wonder, is this really my life.
As I am sitting on the stairs of my backyard, looking at the rolling houses in San Francisco.
Is this really where I live?
As I am riding my bicycle with 30 other people.
Did I really create this?
As I am driving down the rode.
Is [...]
The Office
Posted in insanity, life, tagged crazy, office on May 21, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Sometimes my life is TV.
Me: My cell phone wont get service today, I don’t know whats wrong.
Boss: Thats because we shut it off, you are getting your pink slip tomorrow and we don’t want you to incur anymore bills.
Me: What????!!??!??! Are you serious?
Boss: No, I am kidding, what is wrong with you?
That was not funny [...]
